Laying Low
Tonight I address my readers directly.
It’s weird for me as I have been on an internal journey with this, but my sister asked bluntly who I was writing to, and I realized it really was myself. It’s funny, and a little shocking, to observe that while I am fanatically drilling down into my own life and experience, which heightens every day of my life, I can be largely oblivious to the impact of posting these internal musings to the whole virtual world.
And then today the publicness of this blog tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to look at my readers. I received a handful of Talkbacks and emails from people commenting on yesterdays posting, and it made me weep.
You know who you are, thank you.
I have also had an unexpected result of the directness of my publicness and I am sorry if this process has accelerated things, and as a result, caused any pain. I do feel that this project has been alarmingly self revelatory, like nothing I have ever done before. It demands time, thought and honesty. But it is because of this digging down and thinking harder, looking more closely, I am scratching at small wounds and blemishes, and some of them have started to bleed.
So tonight I am laying low. I am going to be brief. I am going to wrap this up and give myself another day to think about what’s going on as I lick my own wounds and try to (ad)dress others’.
Thank you for reading.
