Brief
Odd day of de-installing eight monitor video installation, combined with working four and half hours at a real job that demands my real attention and intelligence, but is just a job, combined with going out with old boyfriend and his new girlfriend. Topped off by the nations’ obsession with Ted Kennedy and the end of Camelot.
I opt out tonight. But there is a hubbub a brewing. Ideas and values and intention and desire are colliding like crazy, and it is this practice of thinking and writing that is forcing the froth on the waters.
OK- here is a story that I want to remember and I thing exemplifies my personality. On Wednesday as I parked my car, as I did not cycle as I gave myself an out as it was too cold and windy, and I was climbing a steep hill, a grey and white cat appeared close to the road, friendly and wanting pets. I crossed the road to say hi, even though I was running late to my class that I prohibit my students from being late for. It was a sweet cat with a collar, but so close to the busy road I was walking along. I bent to pet it, it purred a hello, I scooped it up and stroking it, gently tossed it into this slightly wooded area away from the road towards the City College grounds. It made me think I need to get a cat, and that if I found that cat dead in the road latter I would hate myself forever.
Later that day, after class and my new customer service job as a check out person and lab technician, even though it is honored by the title “monitor”, I walked back to my car hoping to see the sweet kitty again. When he/she wasn’t there I was relieved, but also selfishly sad as I miss cats in my life. I thought maybe that kitty hung out there next to the dangerous road to get cat folks like me to admire its beauty.
I went by the same spot twice today on my way to my job, (which I am really very thankful for) and looked for him/her twice. Pretty kitty wasn’t there, made me sad and glad.
That’s all I need to record tonight, though daily writing is making me acutely aware that our days pass and rarely do we acknowledge or honor them.
I don’t think there are any right answers. I am interested to know what I will think on August 10th, 2010.
