Brief
It is 9:48 and I will sit here and instruct myself to write until a little past 10pm.
Went back to work today. It was good and loopy. Alternately feeling sick to my stomach, in mild pain, and just a little bit high. Everyone was very nice when they saw my bruised face- the swelling has gone down, so I lost the full dramatic effect.
Cold winds and waves of fog swept in today. I was at Anh’s place, at the crest of Portola, foot of Twin Peaks, with a picture window over the South Western view of the city; magnificent. And the City was there, and then not there, the fog was so thick. Anh and I were born on the same day, and we are both earnest worrywarts, smiling co-dependents, mildly addictive personalities, and from my perspective, soul birthday brother/sister.
Thank you Anh for everything, and please put your name at the bottom of the blog as blog master-designer-whatever – I have officially called you out.
Anh is doing good things right now-he inspires me, and is the smarts and backbone behind this blog and the co-conspirator of the, “Oh my god I can’t believe I am doing this, but I am so excited”, next chapter of this blog.
Sadness is really OK. The trick is to wake up neutral. If you can do that, then the day may be yours. I have learned to try to remember what is good about the upcoming day when I wake up, and what is good about my life in general. I have to face the fact that I have it good, I have largely made my own reality, in as much anyone can force the capriciousness of life, and the universe, to bend to any will, let alone yours. And most importantly I need to remember that I am loved, and I love, and that sustains beyond waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
My dentist told me to expect the swelling, pain and bruising to be reduced tomorrow. I look forward to that. And I look forward to the next three days before I have to go back to school to figure some big stuff out. I haven’t written about it, but all my major projects are in flux, on the table, demanding attention, and for some reason I am OK with it and not panicked. As I left work tonight I though, “You could panic just about now”, and then I thought, why do that?
It is 10:05 and I am off the hook.
