End
Of November and other things too.
Lee bought me flowers that finally all bent their heads today. And as much as I wanted them to be strong soldiers, keeping their sweet pink heads high forever, I knew this was coming.
They’re dead and I need to compost them because they are making me really sad and uncomfortable. If I were weirder I could live with them longer, watch them desiccate, feel life leaving them, and me, and appreciating their new afterlife state.
I used to really milk roses, dried them, and then used them to decorate presents with. I’m glad I don’t do that anymore.
But instead I think I am going to get up right now and take this lovely, and heart wrenching gift, down and put it in the composting bin.
I did it.
Feeling awful about the breakup, probably mostly because I am getting the big chill from the North, almost no communication. I can’t criticize or complain, but I can be sad.
And I got that big grant application in today and it was wonderful and awful too. The content of this documentary is wonderful and heavy, and given the other circumstances of this week, day, month, times, I feel OK bending to the reality of these magical and sad circumstances.
Do you know that feeling when you know something is off and a little wrong, but you know right behind that blur of mess is the thing that is right and true for you? Unlike the feeling of just being blurry, (AKA being depressed).
That’s where I am at. I know I need to set my course, work hard, take pleasure in what I do and be happy in Liseland.
I just got a great email from an associate at City College. My students and I have been working for a number of weeks on these short Obama videos for his one year in office celebration, look back, roasting, toasting-and my students came up with GREAT work. Damn I love them. And the quirkiest video was by a foreign student who knocked our socks off. The class voted for the best videos and this edit got the second highest count-and essentially it is a love song, karaoke, Michael Jackson, Asian love song to Obama. So I am trying to explain to the programmers of the event that while we voted it one of the best, they should really look at it—drama, drama, drama. Later I connected with the main organizer and told her about this odd but adorable view into Obama’s first year and she said YES, she wanted it, and I JUST received the program notes just now and this whimsical off the wall, never to be seen in Washington, (but maybe now it will), is one of the featured videos showcased to close the event on campus on Wednesday.
I will have my student post it and I will post a link here so we can all enjoy. Oh, the world is a just place after all—
UPDATE in real time…
I just got an email from the programmer—and I just called her and indeed Danny Glover will be speaking at 10am, right before one of my student’s video’s and now that I think of it I really want him to play Hank in Saltwater….
Once you step back out into life as yourself, without guilt, with integrity, with enough sleep, it can get fun.
And I want to comment on the pictures I am about to post. They are of the bridge that connects me to the Mission, my old neighborhood in less than three minutes on my bike. It is also the bridge that I got robbed on with a knife to my throat, drawing blood and freaking me out in a way I had never been freaked out before.
Nevertheless a bridge that I cycled over to drop off my grant application in the Mission about 3:45 today.
One of the reasons I agreed with myself to move here is that I had this easy access over the freeway to my old life. That was stymied in so many ways. Tons to think about now that I think about it.
Gotta go-so tired and want to watch TV and eat some of the chicken leek soup I just made.
Note: I have been trying to post images for the last half an hour and keep getting error blah, blah, blah-where is my technologist!!!
Hopefully you’ll see the bridge tomorrow, and so will we all in more ways than one…
Another later update, it is 12;41 and I got the pictures to post.
Good night.
