So, I was walking down the street after my dental check up with Eric Niver, my post grad dentist, doctor, (the pink horse pills worked) and I was in one of those moods where I thought I am like one of those stupid depression commercials, “are you ignoring the things that normally bring you joy? [...]
I have very little to say. I am in active mode on the surface, getting ready for classes, working on the de Young project, taking Lefty to the park and spending some time with Lee. But despite all these outward activities I am in subterranean mode.
Breakthrough today. When I get scared I go blank, numb, I become completely disassociated, checked out. And I figured out that I have been doing this since I was a little kid.
When you think you are safe and steady, and someone or something pulls the rug out from underneath you. I can’t go into details here in this public place, but I can say that after a day of sleepy calmness, after a super harried few weeks a few things came careening into my path that, [...]
Boy oh boy, am I beat. But I knew it was coming, so this is more of an observation than a groan.
Uh oh. Done a Swenson on myself. Up to lesson plan at 7:15 and still working to submit an online grant and do some prep for an 8:30am class. And it’s 10:06. And my guy just showed up and I am not being very nice.
I walked the dog and thought about it. I need a few days of down time from this.
