Who Is This Blog For?
I don’t even like blogs, the name blog, the idea of blogging, and I do not identify as a blogger.
Big confession, I almost never read other people’s blogs.
I am really using this concept to go on my own personal trip, meant in all senses of the word.
Blog. It sounds like some sci fi monster, or a peat bed that my bones will be found in three thousand years from now. Neither of these associations inspires me.
The idea of getting my point of view out there is in fact counter to what I am doing. I feel like I probing the edges of what it is to live ones life, accepting the feelings of fear, sadness and depression, find meaning, peace, joy, honesty, humor, and just to improve my writing by doing it every day.
I just got a call from Virginia and she took her Mom, Polly to the doctors today. Polly, who is 93 and still living in her own home with her husband Bernie who is even a little older than her, has been doing fine until the last few weeks. She has lost strength and can’t do what she is used to doing, along with a few other complications.
Virginia has, despite the more than full time life she leads, has been to her Mom’s house almost everyday taking care of essential and basic needs. As Polly’s life strength fades.
They finally got to see the doctor today. He confirmed what both Virginia and I were thinking, but not speaking. These are all early signs of a person preparing to pass.
What more is there to say when you face this than to just try to be there. I have done this myself, and I have watched some of my favorite people help their loved ones move into death.
We can only hope that we will have such solid and loving characters around us when we reach this inevitable point in our lives. That is unless you die Hollywood style peacefully in your sleep or just as good, die in an instant in a traumatic accident, or your body is kind and says I’ outta here. Unlikely, but we can hope.
Polly’s not going to have it so quickly and easily, but she has the support and love of many people, especially my dear Virginia.
And here I was whining about blogging. Kind of dumb in the face of death.
But let me finish what I started, because isn’t that what life does? It just gets up, wipes itself off and marches on. I think this an amazing attribute of the human race, because if we really thought about it all too hard we would all be miserable existentialists.
So to finish my blog rag. Ha.
My friend Anh asked me today which of my creative projects I could call my own, that I could remove from any kind of public scrutiny and just do because that’s what I do.
Saltwater, my feature narrative is too big and too expensive to put in that category, so I will persevere with my public presence. An Unexamined Life, (I am so changing the title), is in the grey zone, I would love outside support and approval, but I could do this on my own.
And this, my dear dreaded blog. Oh my dear, you are all mine. Hurray.
