goddamn it and thank god

So, I got another godamn grant rejection today, but I am in Sedona, away from home, seeing films, hanging out, seeing new landscape, appreciating my good fortune and thanking both Wendy and Cynthia for their support, while I worry my internal worry beards like a string of tattooed pearls.

And I had a surprisingly delightful lunch in an exquisite home with an amazing couple from Chicago. How I met these people is too convoluted and private to relate here, but I want to take a moment to honor them, especially our hostess, Laura, for being a spirited kindred spirit in this quest to find a way to beauty and self-affirmation at 50 and beyond.

I post a picture of the beautiful, defiantly 60 year old Laura. Go and look at this picture, the forth one. Look at her neck. She is wearing a tattooed string of pearls.

From the moment I got there I kept sneaking sidelong glances at this beautiful woman’s striking and bold tattoo, and simple joy for life, while she hosted strangers.

Let me contextualize. Laura lives with her husband in one of the most, for me, lovely homes I have ever seen. She and her husband have made a beautiful life for themselves that is enviable. Not only is the intent of it beautiful, but they have also literally grown a richness in their environment-I haven’t had such resonance to place in a long time. They have built a dream come true.

They’ve built an amazing1950s style custom home, looking out over some of the more spectacular mountains here in Sedona. With pristine collections of domestic works and art works ranging from the 1920s until today. And yet sparse. Obviously this takes money, but rarely have I seen such well spent money, good taste and absolute joy and gratitude in what they have built, and they open it up for strangers.

Back to Laura, our host, and her tattooe. A perfect string of white pearls that are drawn in ink to reflect the light: just like the fancy ladies. Love the irony, beauty, wit, and wise use of privilege.

The lunch between many strangers went on for two hours+ and was fun, funny, witty and engaging. Out hosts are also an archive of rock and alternative music history and stories, while the others at the table brought wit and professional diversity into the mix. I don’t think I have laughed that much over a meal since Christmas, and there was no alcohol at this meal. I love it.

After we toured the engaging hosts home I had to ask this extremely charming woman about her bold tattoo. She told me that she got it for herself when she turned 50. My version of this is this.

Thank you Laura.

PS- I wrote this outside the screening of a film I sort of really wanted to see, but I needed to eat, which hasn’t really happened, and I needed to wait for Wendy and I needed internet access, while I eavesdropped on a recent ex felon explain why he was here cleaning up, all his girlfriend’s fault…all kinds of stories…and the obvious closing soundtrack swells and a few claps…gotta go.

Very sweet festival.