I Really Don’t Want To Do This Right Now
I was telling two lovely 34 and 25 year old women today how I released my turning 50 anxieties by writing this thing. And I said while it was a release, it is also a curse, especially since am looking at 10-14 hour days now through the 28th because I am on a secret mission which I will hopefully be able to reveal here then.
And that’s why I don’t want to do this, I am bone tired and need to get up and do a different set of things related to the big thing, and another big thing bright and early and I feel that this chronicle is good, but a beautiful albatross at this point.
Yes, I have two under wraps negotiations. How fun. If even one of them pans out I will be ecstatic, if both pan out I will likely fall over dead.
Speaking of panning today was a full production day at the de Young after my short 7:15-8:15 stint at City College to open up the Issue Room, my (one day and one hour a week) day job.
Work wise I feel like I have multiple personalities. Too many hats, but I kind of love it.
That’s part of the deal for me, being so engaged that I can’t get too deep into my own head and doubt-doubt about myself, others or the ridiculous order of the world. Just get out there and do – meet the world head on, be me, let those around them be then without judgment.
Kathleen, who assisted me today, gave me a wonderful and deep compliment. She said that she loved working with me because I worked with others without judgment. While this is a graceful idea, and she may have been right today, because today was a smooth and lovely shoot, that was very well produced. I also noted that I have been a teacher for over 20 years and the crew I was working with was stellar, some the same people I think I may have been bitching about a week or two ago. But we worked to resolve our issues, and to understand each other’s perspective, as it is highly political and potentially very volatile scene at the museum, but we did it, we moved on from poopy head to happy head. And I have to say, I think we all had a good, if hard working, time.
