Tick, Tick, Tick
Where to start when the death knell is ringing.
I just had my first unsettling and disappointing experience with my boyfriend and because I WROTE about it, to him, and now here, I am not holding it in my heart to let it fester and become something it’s not. I don’t grow disappointment, I move on with a cold heart. And that may even be worse. I truly felt my heart tightening against hurt about an hour ago. But because I value and respect this relationship, and Ron, and myself more and more, I am not letting my heart shut down, I am going to be patient and understanding.
When it comes to gratification I can be greedy and demanding. Ron is slow. I am fast. Both of us are insanely busy. Anyone out there got any advice? I think it is keeping openness and honesty, (knowing that truth can change in a second) by your side as your counsel.
I got a whole month up on the wall at the Gallery this evening. Feels good. And even better, the move towards production on Replikaaa, the short I am producing like Sisyphus and his big rock, is going well, but rock seems manageable today.
Oh yeah, and I slept well and no creepy sweats. But as my dear nemesis, Scott, said today after I told him I wound skip menopause he laughed and said I would skip death too-he’s right, it’s coming, and whether it’s now, or next week, or in 2012, it’s coming. But I am sure my experience will be interesting and fine-feedback girls? I mean woman? I mean crones?
Goodness, writing really has helped me feel better after my late in the day disappointment. Writing to you Ron, and writing here is good.
And I have no idea what’s going on in the world. I tried to fix the radio in my car today, but it seems to be one of those head fuck, need the magic code situations that somehow I can’t conjure. I have however been pressing buttons and praying to unknown gods to get the radio back on-these days one of the only places I get my news I am ashamed to say.
But my bubble is just fine right now, how will it feel when this, my dear blog bubble bursts in just a few days? Of course I am obsessing about my final posting and how I will feel and deal post FIIF, but of course, despite my phobia about last things, it will all be better than fine.
OK-enough. Always more to say, but now that I am reading all this (crap) I know that pithy works better than filler.
